Tag: divorce

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I’m up to my eyes in debt since my x ran off to find himself. It literally makes me want to die and I don’t know what to do. I’ve spent the last year living off of credit cards just to support my family. It makes me feel sick on the daily and I lose a lot of sleep over this every week. Ready to live on cash and need to find a way to start chipping away at this mountain before it crushes me. Where do I begin?

The merry go round that is my life seems to be spinning faster these days. John moved to Denver on Friday and is staying with us for 10 days. It is pretty interesting to have him in my home after so many months apart and so many bad feelings between us. This is for the kids and hopefully we will be able to be somewhat nice to each other for them.

A lot of very big decisions need to be made.  Until they are said and done I feel like I am being robbed of my happy.  Its silly to let “the now” rob of your happy but sometimes we don’t have a choice. I was separated from my husband for 6 months last year and have filed for divorce 3 times.  Husband came home in January at my suggestion when he was having some health issues. We are at a stale mate and he won’t separate again, and you can’t force someone to move out of the house if they are on the mortgage. We are both in ABSOLUTE agreement that we are divorcing. So the next step is to put the house on the market.  Soon. Last Friday I took Rachel out of her residential school after one month and am working on figuring out where to have her go next.  She and I both vote that she returns to the local middle school for now. I also need to sort out a vehicle that will fit all of my children and a wheel chair.  Preferably that can pull an airstream or I am going to have to sell(read the rest)

Earlier this year I read a book called Crazy Time, it was recommended to me by my husband (who I am currently separated from) to help get through the emotions / motions of separation, divorce or whatever label you want to put on where we are at.  Here is a link to the book on Amazon, its actually a pretty good read that explains a lot about relationships (not just romantic ones). Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Rebuilding a New Life The funny part about the book in relationship to my life is that you really can’t just build a new life when you have kids, have a dying child and work with your spouse.  Splitting up is easy enough to do, just have some wine or whiskey on hand for when the nights get lonely.  But its the aftermath of the split that you have to be super careful with when you have children.  It’s especially hard with a sick child, and having a special needs or terminally ill child will often bring families to the edge of divorce.  Loving my children means loving their father, he hasn’t done anything to me or our children that makes our damage(read the rest)

It’s a big deal to me to keep the Christmas spirit alive in a houseful of 4 children who are dealing with their parents being separated for the first holiday season.  I’ve tried to take great care in making sure things are as normal as possible and on schedule as usual to help ease them into the transition.  Today I had them write their letters to Santa and here is what we came up with: Rachel’s list (yes, my handwriting isn’t so great). Julie (love #3) London (cellphone, nerf rifle and movie tickets) lol Boston (who shocked me at having the lowest priced items on his list)

Watching my husband for the last two years and seeing all of the changes he has attempted (some successful, some failed), some good, some bad.  I realize that I have silently been on a journey of my own.  I will be turning 35 in 6 weeks and I am the proud mother of 4.  By my next (36th) birthday I hope to have finalized the legalities with my husband after our 10 year marriage, and that our journey as friends will have developed to a place where we can peacefully and pleasantly co-raise great kids (I wrote 4 great kids, then 3, then 4 and have decided to cut the number out because it sucks to write 3 when you currently have 4 children). I became a mother at age 21, by choice.  I’ve spent the last 14 years raising children and focusing on my kids and lots of things (and taking care of people) other than myself.  Since Rachel’s diagnosis I’ve spent a lot of time organizing her care (medical/educational) and I’ve been working super hard to give all 4 of my children awesome experiences to ensure that my 3 unaffected children  look back and feel they had a(read the rest)