I was at a Memorial Day BBQ this weekend and found myself with other parents who both have children the same age as Rachel was (should be). All of our children should be starting their senior year and living through all of the milestones that this year of life has to offer. College tours, homecoming, prom, senior pics, graduation. The other parents knew that my daughter had recently died and yet they found it fitting to complain about having to pay for senior pics, cap and gown fees. Money, from what I can gather, is not an issue. Parents just complaining about the added expenses of their children, their healthy children, moving to the next stage in life.
I burst into tears, behind my sunglasses and looked away, toward the field we were sitting next to. Wishing I had my daughter back, healthy. Knowing she’s not coming back, wishing the ground would swallow me whole.
If you know someone who should have a child around the same age as yours, please try and be careful with them. We’re sore. Sensitive. Broken hearted. We’d do anything to not be wearing the shoes of a grieving parent. Well, anything except trade with you because we don’t want you to know how bad this feels.