Not the best pictures (too many pictures to edit!!!!) but they’ll do! <3 Thank you so much to Sue for having us over yet again, being super generous and awesome and drinking margaritas with me at 10am. <3 Continue reading “Easter 2015” »
She really enjoyed the long weekend visit with my Mom. I was sure that she was going to be nasty to me this week after my Mom left but I was pleasantly surprised (and wrong). Truthfully I think that is another sign of her cognitive loss. I knew the decline was coming, it is always coming and coming and coming. Her ability to walk is nearly non-existent but I was born to be somewhat of a “brick shithouse” so I have no problem maneuvering her. The order for a hoyer lift is in as well as a new air mattress and an inflatable bed bath for her hair. Continue reading “Rachel update” »
I feel like I have turned into a caterpillar these last few weeks.
I feel silly using the caterpillar to butterfly analogy. Like, please don’t bring it up to my face, but it’s such a valid feeling for me.
The last few years of my life have focused on taking care of my oldest daughter (first) and her younger siblings (second). I have tried to take care of my husband but mostly gave that job up except for a bout of vertigo this year.
I have sat at the very bottom of the list for a very long time. I think that this is a common practice, for women (especially mothers) take care of everyone else before themselves.
It’s time to re-evaluate things and put myself at the top of the list.
Last week London hit his head really hard and was unable to remember the last few weeks and every 15 seconds was asking me the same questions over and over again. What is today? Why am I not at school? Where is Dad? What happened? Why am I bleeding?
He cut his lip open and was bleeding and the questions didn’t stop coming and his short term memory didn’t return so I drove him to the hospital.
I will never understand how I have the ability to stay completely calm but I am very glad that I am not one to “freak out” in an emergency. I drove him to the emergency room for an exam because I wanted to make sure his brain was okay. After a cat scan and a popsicle he was ruled to be okay and sent home. Gradually that afternoon and evening his short term memory started working normally again (the biggest feeling of relief in my life). Having one sick child does not protect your healthy kids from harm, disease, accidents. That would be fair but life doesn’t work that way.
Life is so short and London’s head injury brought everything I am working towards to the surface. In some regards I have been putting off my morphing to keep my marriage together, to keep my house together, to keep my sanity together. How can you really live if you put off your life for other people? Its time I stuff myself with leaves, wrap myself up, hang from my feet and wrap my body in silk.
Keep taking baby steps and before I know it, I will be myself again. Myself, only happier and more wise. I am so glad London is okay and that I no longer suffer from depersonalization and derealization. Feeling outside of my body was very, very scary but if I “get it” again, I will look back at that time and know I survived it once and can survive it again.
I’ve squandered my time and interests, steering clear of blogging and keeping a journal of my life online. Part of me has been busy with other things and the other part simply didn’t want to see the changes in my daughter and the easy ability to chronologically look at the decline. I imported some of my very old posts into this blog and am going to revisit blogging and “the internet.” <3
Today is my 33rd birthday so I imagine my Mom is once again thrilled that she is no longer pregnant with me (I am mostly joking lol). I was born over 3 weeks late and weighed over 10 pounds so I really can’t blame her. Thank you Mom, aka Eileen, for giving me life and putting up with my crap, foul language and obnoxiousness all of these years. 🙂
I also want to thank my Mom for being the first to sign-up for Rachel’s road race which is in 2 months. I can’t say I was outright nervous that no one had signed up because I know people are really busy with “back to school” whether it is their child or grandchild headed back in the next few weeks. I guess my Mom had mental telepathy and for that I am so grateful. We have one official walker!!!!
This week I am finalizing the Sponsor information for businesses who can give over and beyond the registration fee as well as walkers and runners who will ask their friends to donate on their behalf. Plus the prizes and raffle items. I have never done this before and got some really great ideas at the Batten Disease Golf Tournament I took John and the girls to yesterday. They raised about $30,000!!!! My goal is to raise $10,000 this year for our walk/run/raffle.
Have a great day today if you read this entry!!!
Photo: Rachel (6), Kat (?) and Julie (2.5). Not really easily seen is London who was 8 days past his due date and born the next day. We were at a pumpkin patch in Colorado.
(Photo above: My 3 living children Geocaching in Denver (2017)
Above: Myself and 4 kiddos dressed up at a car show for Halloween in 2016.
Hola! My name is Kat Wasabi and I am a website manager (content / creative) for customers all over the United States with Geek Media. My name really really is Kathryn Wasabi, I had it legally changed from Kathryn Vontungeln when my divorce was finaly
My oldest child, Rachel, died at age 16 from a rare brain disease called Juvenile Batten Disease. My 3 other children are totally (as far as I know) healthy and awesome. Halloween is our favorite holiday! <3
In my spare time, I like to take my kids on road trips and go 4-wheeling. I have also helped raise tens of thousands of dollars for Juvenile Batten Disease Research. I am a proud vegan and have converted my children. Vegan for the animals!
We live just outside of Denver, Colorado with Mittens the cat.